Mike Staver's Blog

Leadership is simply the power and willingness to influence. Great leadership doesn’t require lofty positions. Leadership is the degree to which you are willing to influence those around you. The key to great influence is what you value. What are the values that you hold as most important? To what extent do you exercise your influence in places and in ways that make a difference and are aligned with your core values. You can’t influence others if you aren’t clear about that. Allowing “other” things at work and in your life to get in your way can easily sidetrack you. Most organizations start to get into trouble when the leaders of those organizations begin to compromise their values. I see many organizations that say they are committed to leading in alignment with their values but when push comes to shove they will sacrifice those values in service of the bottom line or some top producer they are afraid to make mad. If there is unrest in the organization where you work or in your life personally I can guarantee you there is a values conflict. It take courage and heart to be true to what matters. If your organization is not living in alignment with a set of sound core values, profit won’t fix it, new offices won’t fix it, happy board of directors won’t fix it and pretending won’t fix it! The only thing that will fix it is courage. Courage to do whatever it takes to live in alignment with your core values. If you are a leader of an organization do your people the service of rigorously adhering to the values. If you don’t have them identified get a group together and identify them. If you do but they are just a nice poster on the wall get busy establishing a plan for full and rigorous implementation. Here are the steps:

Answer the following questions

1. What do you value most?
2. How do you know?
3. What are you going to do to drive those values into the organizations culture or deeper into your daily life?

If you are in an organization that is not values based and is not living by a clear and purposeful set of values then:

1. Determine how much energy you are willing to invest to change it.
2. If you aren’t willing to do anything then ask yourself what you must be valuing to stay there
3. Find ways to invest energy in places where you are living in alignment with what really matters

I am amazed at how PDAs have taken control of our lives like some kind of cult. Recently I asked that people turn off their blackberries in a session I was doing. Not for some egocentric, want all the attention on me reason but to help them experience the anxiety involved when they can’t look at it constantly. The response at first was, “it’s no big deal, I can do that easily.” But as the session continued and we took a break the first thing they went for was their PDA. I was not talking to transplant surgeons or any kind of Dr. Have we really gotten to the place where we are so in need of “connection” that we cant be still for just a few minutes? I laugh because as i write this my blackberry is next to me. The red LED light is blinking and i can feel the urge to check it. I am certain it must be the president sending me a text to ask my opinion of the health care bill!! Yes, I am afraid we all are slowly moving down the overconnected path. If a guy in the Atlanta airport MUST answer his phone while at the urinal we have a problem. When my 18 year old step son can’t focus long enough to have a 10 minute conversation because the volume of texts is so huge he is compelled to respond then perhaps we have gone too far. I am all for technology and all for staying connected but perhaps true connection can happen when we turn off some of the noise.

The impact of what we believe about people that we influence is so often underestimated. It is important to understand that what you BELIEVE always has an impact on how the person you influence performs. It has long been known that a Doctor’s belief about a patients ability to recover, a teachers belief in a students ability to achieve have been pivotal to the success of those under their care. Interestingly enough you can’t really hide what you believe. Your behavior will subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) reflect what you really believe. Do not think for a second that you can fake it. Now might be a good time to take a look around at those you influence and see how your beliefs may be affecting their performance.

While multiple forms of communication are good it is important to remember that all forms have their limitations. It is not so much that the form itself is limited that concerns me it is the mindset of those using the form that concerns me. Verizon would and has verified my significant use of text messaging so I can truthfully say I have considerable experience in the texting space so let me share a few ideas. First and foremost….the world you are texting from is not the world you are texting to. There is little if any clarity by the textor of the context or environment they are texting into. You have no idea if the person you are sending a text to is in a meeting, on the way to a fire, having a baby, meeting with the president etc. When they text you back you have no idea of their mood, tone, volume, energy etc. It is a method of communication that is potentially full of pitfalls and misunderstandings. So may I humbly suggest that each of us think about the fact that we may be dropping a message into territory that is full of distractions and challenges. Be clear that often there is no personal insult intended when you are not texted back immediately or if the receiver does not answer with as much eloquence as you might like. It is the responsibility of the one sending the text to manage their expectations and to give the receiver the benefit of the doubt. If there is an expectation of a type of response that is needed then perhaps communicating that would be helpful. In all cases remember when the tool being used to communicate has limits let’s not expect more of it than is reasonable.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day that was working through a challenge. During the conversation they kept saying that their gut was telling them to do x! I stopped them mid sentence the next time they went down that road and said, is that your gut or your guilt? Turns out it was guilt masquerading as gut. I am struck with how often our gut is right…… when it’s REALLY our gut and not some other emotion that clouds our insight. I laugh as I write this because I too am often misguided and do not accurately identify the difference between my gut and some phantom thought and/or emotion. We are navigating stormy waters these days and it is critical that we pay attention to the truth. Unless you are a sociopath your gut is a good place to listen for the truth. At the very least it’s a good place to start. Here are a few steps to get you started.

1. Stop everything you are doing, be still, pause for 10 seconds, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “what is my gut telling me?”
2. Listen carefully to what you hear without any buts.
3. Ignore the emotion that will inevitably come up when your gut is in play.
4. Check it out with trusted friends or advisors. Say it like this, “my gut is telling me x! I just want a reality check.” (what they say is not gospel but it will help with clarity)
5. DO NOT THINK IT OVER!!!
6. Evaluate your gut reaction against your values
7. Act on your gut.