The impact of what we believe about people that we influence is so often underestimated. It is important to understand that what you BELIEVE always has an impact on how the person you influence performs. It has long been known that a Doctor’s belief about a patients ability to recover, a teachers belief in a students ability to achieve have been pivotal to the success of those under their care. Interestingly enough you can’t really hide what you believe. Your behavior will subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) reflect what you really believe. Do not think for a second that you can fake it. Now might be a good time to take a look around at those you influence and see how your beliefs may be affecting their performance.

While multiple forms of communication are good it is important to remember that all forms have their limitations. It is not so much that the form itself is limited that concerns me it is the mindset of those using the form that concerns me. Verizon would and has verified my significant use of text messaging so I can truthfully say I have considerable experience in the texting space so let me share a few ideas. First and foremost….the world you are texting from is not the world you are texting to. There is little if any clarity by the textor of the context or environment they are texting into. You have no idea if the person you are sending a text to is in a meeting, on the way to a fire, having a baby, meeting with the president etc. When they text you back you have no idea of their mood, tone, volume, energy etc. It is a method of communication that is potentially full of pitfalls and misunderstandings. So may I humbly suggest that each of us think about the fact that we may be dropping a message into territory that is full of distractions and challenges. Be clear that often there is no personal insult intended when you are not texted back immediately or if the receiver does not answer with as much eloquence as you might like. It is the responsibility of the one sending the text to manage their expectations and to give the receiver the benefit of the doubt. If there is an expectation of a type of response that is needed then perhaps communicating that would be helpful. In all cases remember when the tool being used to communicate has limits let’s not expect more of it than is reasonable.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day that was working through a challenge. During the conversation they kept saying that their gut was telling them to do x! I stopped them mid sentence the next time they went down that road and said, is that your gut or your guilt? Turns out it was guilt masquerading as gut. I am struck with how often our gut is right…… when it’s REALLY our gut and not some other emotion that clouds our insight. I laugh as I write this because I too am often misguided and do not accurately identify the difference between my gut and some phantom thought and/or emotion. We are navigating stormy waters these days and it is critical that we pay attention to the truth. Unless you are a sociopath your gut is a good place to listen for the truth. At the very least it’s a good place to start. Here are a few steps to get you started.

1. Stop everything you are doing, be still, pause for 10 seconds, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “what is my gut telling me?”
2. Listen carefully to what you hear without any buts.
3. Ignore the emotion that will inevitably come up when your gut is in play.
4. Check it out with trusted friends or advisors. Say it like this, “my gut is telling me x! I just want a reality check.” (what they say is not gospel but it will help with clarity)
5. DO NOT THINK IT OVER!!!
6. Evaluate your gut reaction against your values
7. Act on your gut.

I was snorkeling yesterday in Maui. Once the initial part of the adventure was complete the captain of our boat said we were going to pull anchor and go look for sea turtles to dive with. That’s exactly what we did. When I got back on the boat the first mate ask us some sea turtle trivia. 1. What is the number one predator of a sea turtle in Hawaii? Tiger sharks 2. What kind of water do Tiger sharks most enjoy hunting turtles in? Murky. Hmmmmm, which is EXACTLY the kind of water we just climbed out of. He told us that in murky (low visibility) water turtles tend to just pop up for air and then return to the bottom immediately to be protected from the predator. Interesting, so when threatened they ONLY focus on the essentials. Smart turtles. Are you that smart? When faced with a threat to your work, your family, your health to what extent do you have an automatic mechanism that focuses you only on the essentials. Do you have the survival skills to keep yourself focused only on those things that will help you survive that period of time. The waters are not always murky he told us…….just when the seas are rough!

When the seas are rough personally or professionally:

1. Determine the essentials, those things that are absolutely necessary for survival on every level
2. Until the storm passes focus your attention on those things
3. Take time to be still